Home Glossary
Glossary
180 terms covering gender, attraction and the language that grew up around both. Plain definitions, written without the clinical distance.
A-specThe umbrella over the asexual and aromantic spectrums.AbroromanticA romantic orientation that changes over time.AbrosexualAn orientation that changes over time.AchilleanMen and adjacent people attracted to men, trans men included without qualification.AegosexualEnjoying sexual material while feeling no desire to take part.AFABAssigned female at birth: a fact about a birth certificate, not an identity.AGABAssigned gender at birth. The umbrella term over AFAB and AMAB.AgenderHaving no gender, rather than a gender that sits between others.AllosexualFeeling sexual attraction in the ordinary way. The word for not being on the ace spectrum.AllyshipSupporting a group you are not part of, judged by what you do.Alterous attractionWanting emotional closeness that is neither friendship nor romance.AMABAssigned male at birth: a fact about a birth certificate, not an identity.AndrogyneA gender that is both masculine and feminine, or between the two.AndrophiliaAttraction to men or masculinity, described by who someone is drawn to rather than by who they are.AndrosexualAttraction to masculinity, whatever the person's gender.AporagenderA gender that is strong and specific, and not male, female or between.AroaceBoth aromantic and asexual.AromanticLittle or no romantic attraction, whatever sexual attraction may be doing.AsexualLittle or no sexual attraction to anyone, at any point.AutigenderA gender whose experience is inseparable from being autistic.AutosexualSexual attraction directed primarily at oneself.BicuriousInterested in exploring attraction to more than one gender, without having settled anything.BigenderHaving two genders, either at once or in alternation.BindingFlattening the chest, usually with a purpose-made binder.BiromanticRomantic attraction to more than one gender.BisexualAttraction to more than one gender.Bottom surgeryGenital surgery as part of a transition. An umbrella over several procedures.BoyfluxBeing a boy or man, with the intensity of it rising and falling.ButchA masculine presentation and way of being, usually within sapphic and queer contexts.CassgenderHaving a gender and considering it irrelevant.CatgenderA xenogender in which someone's sense of gender is closely bound up with cats.ChaserSomeone who pursues trans people as a category rather than as people.Chosen familyThe family you build: people who are not related to you and show up the way family should.CisgenderHaving the gender you were assigned at birth.CishetCisgender and heterosexual. The combination, in one word.ClockedBeing recognised as trans without having said so.ClosetedNot out, whether by choice or by circumstance.ColorgenderDescribing a gender by colour when words will not do it.Coming outTelling someone you are trans. Never once, always again.CompersionFeeling glad that a partner is happy with someone else.CupioromanticNot experiencing romantic attraction, and still wanting a romantic relationship.CupiosexualFeeling no sexual attraction while still wanting a sexual relationship.DeadnameThe name someone was given at birth and no longer uses.DemiboyPartly a boy or man, and partly something else.DemifluidPartly fluid, with one part of the gender staying fixed.DemigenderPartly one gender, and partly something else or nothing at all.DemigirlPartly a girl or woman, and partly something else.DeminonbinaryPartly nonbinary, and partly something else or nothing.DemiromanticRomantic attraction that only appears after a real emotional bond.DemisexualSexual attraction that only appears after a real emotional bond has formed.DetransitionStopping or reversing a transition, for reasons that are usually not what people assume.DiamoricAttraction involving nonbinary people, described on its own terms.EggCommunity slang for someone who is trans and does not know it yet.EnbianA nonbinary person attracted to other nonbinary people, whether or not only to them.EnbyA non-binary person: from saying the letters N.B. out loud.Ethical non-monogamyAny relationship style that is not exclusive, where everyone involved knows and agrees.Facial feminization surgerySurgery on facial features, commonly shortened to FFS.FemboyA feminine presentation on someone who is not a woman. Usually a style, sometimes a step.FemmeA feminine presentation claimed deliberately, usually within sapphic and queer contexts.FraysexualAttraction that fades as you get to know someone.FTMFemale to male, an older shorthand for a trans man's transition.FutchSomewhere between femme and butch, or moving between the two.Gender apatheticHaving a gender or not, and genuinely not caring which.Gender binaryThe system that sorts everyone into man or woman, and nothing else.Gender dysphoriaDistress at the difference between your gender and how your body or the world treats it.Gender envyWanting to look or be like someone, because of their gender rather than despite it.Gender euphoriaThe joy when your gender is seen correctly.Gender expressionHow someone presents their gender outwardly. Not the same as what their gender is.Gender markerThe letter on your documents. A separate fight from everything else.Gender nonconformingExpressing gender in ways that do not follow what is expected of masculinity or femininity.Gender-affirming careThe umbrella for healthcare that supports someone's gender.GenderfaeFluid across genders, but never toward masculinity.GenderfaunFluid across genders, but never toward femininity.GenderfluidA gender that shifts over time rather than staying fixed.GenderfluxA gender whose intensity rises and falls, rather than changing into another gender.GenderlessHaving no gender at all, as a plain fact rather than a gap.GenderqueerA gender outside the binary: the older, more political word for it.GendervoidFeeling the absence of a gender as an absence, rather than a neutral fact.GirlfluxBeing a girl or woman, with the intensity of it rising and falling.GirlmodePresenting as a woman some of the time, usually before or during early transition.GraysexualSomewhere between asexual and not: attraction that's rare or conditional.GreyromanticRomantic attraction that is rare, faint, or only occurs under specific conditions.Greysexual (spelling)The other spelling of graysexual, and the same thing.GynephiliaAttraction to women or femininity, described without saying anything about the gender of the person who feels it.GynosexualAttraction to femininity, whatever the person's gender.He/him lesbianA lesbian who uses he/him pronouns, as a matter of expression rather than a claim to be a man.HeteroflexibleMostly straight, with occasional exceptions.HeteroromanticRomantic attraction to people of a different gender.HomoromanticRomantic attraction to people of the same gender.HRTHormone replacement therapy. In a trans context, the hormones of a transition.IntersexBorn with a body that does not fit the standard definitions of male or female.Kitchen table polyamoryA style of polyamory where everyone in the network is close enough to share a table.LibrafeminineMostly agender, with a feminine part.LibramasculineMostly agender, with a masculine part.LithosexualAttraction that does not want to be returned.Masc lesbianA lesbian whose gender expression leans masculine, with or without the weight of butch.MaveriqueA gender that is its own thing, neither masculine, feminine nor neutral.MetamourYour partner's other partner, who is not your partner.MetoidioplastyA different transmasculine genital procedure, often shortened to meta.MicrolabelA precise identity word covering a narrow experience, usually inside a broader one.Mirror pronounsBeing referred to with whatever pronouns the speaker uses for themselves.MisgenderingReferring to someone as a gender that isn't theirs.MonogamishMostly monogamous, with agreed and limited exceptions.MonosexualAttraction to one gender only.MTFMale to female, an older shorthand for a trans woman's transition.MultigenderHaving more than one gender, at once or in turn.MultisexualAttraction to more than one gender, as an umbrella.MxA title like Mr or Ms that does not indicate gender, usually pronounced mix.NBLWNonbinary loving women: a nonbinary person attracted to women.NeopronounsPronouns beyond he, she and they.NeptunicAttraction to women and nonbinary people.NeutroisA neutral or null gender, often with a wish for a neutral body.NiblingA gender-neutral word for your sibling's child: a niece, a nephew, or neither.Non-binaryA gender that isn't exclusively man or woman.Nonbinary flagFour stripes, yellow, white, purple and black, designed by Kye Rowan in 2014.NovigenderA gender too complex to describe with the available words.OmnigenderExperiencing all genders, or nearly all: a close relative of pangender, with no settled definition.OmnisexualAttraction to people of all genders, where gender is noticed and matters.Open relationshipA relationship where the partners agree that sex or romance with other people is allowed.OrchiectomySurgical removal of the testicles. Sometimes a step, sometimes the whole of it.OutingRevealing that someone is trans without their consent.PackingWearing something to create a visible bulge.PangenderHaving many genders, or all of the ones available to you.PanromanticRomantic attraction regardless of gender.PansexualAttraction to people regardless of gender, where gender is not what decides it.ParagenderMostly one gender, with a persistent part that is something else.Parallel polyamoryA style of polyamory where each relationship runs separately and metamours need not meet.PassingBeing read as your gender without your trans history showing, and a contested goal.PhalloplastySurgical construction of a penis. One of several bottom surgeries.PiblingA gender-neutral word for your parent's sibling: an aunt, an uncle, or neither.Platonic attractionWanting a friendship with one particular person, and the small family of labels, from aplatonic to alloplatonic, built on it.PolyamoryHaving more than one romantic relationship, with everyone's knowledge and consent.PolyculeA network of people connected to each other through overlapping romantic relationships.PolygenderHaving several genders, usually more than three.PolysexualAttraction to many genders, but not all of them.Pronoun setThe group of forms that go together: she/her/hers, they/them/theirs.Puberty blockersMedication that pauses puberty. The most argued-about item on this list.QTPOCQueer and trans people of color: a term for being both at once.QueerplatonicA committed relationship that isn't romantic, and isn't just friendship either.QuestioningNot knowing yet, which is a position rather than a gap.Questioning your genderNot knowing yet, which is a legitimate place to be.ReciprosexualAttraction that only appears once you know it is mutual.Relationship anarchyDeclining to rank relationships, romantic or otherwise, against one another.SapiosexualAttraction driven principally by intelligence.SapphicWomen and adjacent people attracted to women, trans women included without qualification.SaturnicAttraction to nonbinary people only.Sex-positiveTreating consensual sex as unremarkable rather than as a problem.SkoliosexualAttraction to trans and non-binary people, and a word many trans people reject.Solo polyamoryBeing polyamorous without having, or necessarily wanting, a primary or nesting partner.SquishA platonic crush: wanting to be close to someone, without romance.StargenderA gender described through celestial imagery.StealthLiving without people knowing you're trans.StemA lesbian between stud and femme, in a word from Black and Latinx lesbian communities.StudA masculine-presenting Black lesbian: a word made in, and belonging to, Black lesbian culture.T4C, sT4T and T4MCodes built like t4t: trans for cis, straight t4t, and trans for men.T4TTrans for trans: dating, sleeping with or building a life with other trans people, on purpose rather than by accident.They / themA singular pronoun for a person, in English since the 1300s.TheyfriendA gender-neutral word for a boyfriend or girlfriend, usually a nonbinary partner.Top surgeryChest surgery as part of a transition. The word, not the procedure.ToricA nonbinary person attracted to men.TransandrophobiaThe specific hostility aimed at trans men, where transphobia and the treatment of masculinity meet.TransbianA trans woman who is a lesbian.TransfeminineMoving towards femininity from a male assignment at birth.TransgenderHaving a gender different from the one assigned at birth.TransitionThe process of living as the gender you are. It has no fixed contents.TransmasculineMoving towards masculinity from a female assignment at birth.TransmisogynyThe specific hostility aimed at trans women, where transphobia and misogyny compound.TransneutralTransitioning toward something neutral rather than toward a binary gender.TransphobiaHostility toward trans people, from a comment to a law.TranssexualAn older, narrower word tied to medical transition. Some people still claim it; nobody else should apply it.TrigenderHaving three genders.TrixicA nonbinary person attracted to women.TuckingArranging the genitals so they are not visible through clothing.Two-SpiritAn umbrella term for Indigenous North American gender and sexuality roles. Not available to anyone else.UranicAttraction to men and nonbinary people.VaginoplastySurgical construction of a vagina. One of several bottom surgeries.Voice trainingWorking on the voice so it matches how you want to be heard.WLWWomen loving women: an umbrella for women attracted to women, whatever else they are attracted to.XenogenderA gender described through something other than manhood or womanhood.XenopronounsPronouns drawn from words other than the usual sets.