Outing
Revealing that someone is trans without their consent.
Outing is telling other people that someone is trans when they have not chosen to. It can be deliberate or careless, and the consequences do not depend much on which.
It is more serious than it usually sounds to the person doing it. Depending on where someone lives and works, being outed can cost them a job, a home, custody, physical safety, or an immigration case. In some countries it is life-threatening.
It also happens by accident constantly: an old photograph, a mention of a name, a colleague explaining to a new hire, a well-meant introduction that includes a detail nobody asked for.
The general rule is that someone's trans status is theirs to disclose, every time, to each person. Having been told does not transfer the decision to you.
Outing by accident is still outing
The intention matters to the person who did it and almost not at all to the person it happened to. The information is out either way, and cannot be recalled.
The safest default is to say nothing about someone's trans status to anyone, including to other trans people, unless they have told you they are out to that person.
Saying it well
Say this
- That is not mine to tell.
- I was outed at work.
- Ask before mentioning it to anyone.
- She is out to me, not to the team.
Not this
- Everyone knows anyway
- I assumed it was common knowledge
- I was only explaining
- It is not a secret
Questions people actually ask
What is outing?
Revealing that someone is trans without their consent.
Is accidental outing still harmful?
Yes. The consequences do not depend on intent, and the information cannot be taken back.
Can outing be dangerous?
Yes. Depending on where someone lives it can cost them work, housing, custody or physical safety.
What should I do if I know someone is trans?
Say nothing to anyone unless they have told you they are out to that person.