Sex-positive
Treating consensual sex as unremarkable rather than as a problem.
Sex-positive describes an attitude that treats consensual sex between adults as ordinary rather than as something to be justified, regulated or apologised for. It emerged as a position against shame rather than as an enthusiasm.
The common misreading is that it means being keen. It does not: an asexual person can be sex-positive, and frequently is, because the position concerns other people's choices rather than one's own appetite.
It also does not mean an absence of limits. Consent is the load-bearing part of the definition, and a version without it is not a more advanced version.
Sex-positive is not the same as sexually available
It gets read as a statement about appetite, which turns a position about shame into an offer.
The position concerns whether consensual sex requires justification. It says nothing about what any particular person wants, which is why asexual people hold it as often as anyone.
Saying it well
Say this
- Sex-positive, which is about other people's choices.
- Asexual and sex-positive.
- Consent is the whole of it.
- Not enthusiasm. Absence of shame.
Not this
- So you will do anything
- Sex-positive means no boundaries
- You cannot be ace and sex-positive
- So you are always up for it
Questions people actually ask
What does sex-positive mean?
Treating consensual sex between adults as ordinary rather than as something needing justification.
Can an asexual person be sex-positive?
Yes, and many are. The position concerns other people's choices rather than one's own appetite.
Does sex-positive mean no boundaries?
No. Consent is the load-bearing part of the definition.