Skoliosexual
Attraction to trans and non-binary people, and a word many trans people reject.
Skoliosexual describes attraction to nonbinary, genderqueer or gender non-conforming people. It is the most contested word in this glossary, and the disagreement is worth understanding before using it.
It appeared around 2010 and was intended as a positive term, filling what looked like a gap: a way for people drawn to nonbinary partners to say so, when gay, straight and bisexual all assume a binary. The intention was to include.
The objection came from the people it described. Grouping nonbinary and gender non-conforming people into a single object of attraction treats a very wide range of people as one category, and that category is defined by not being cis rather than by anything they share.
The etymology made it worse. The Greek root skolios means bent or crooked, which lands badly as a description of a group of people. Several alternatives have been proposed and none has caught on.
In practice the word is used far more by people writing about it than by people describing themselves. Most nonbinary people find it uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of, for the same reason most trans women find chaser uncomfortable: the attraction is aimed at a category, and the person arrives second.
It is included here because people encounter it and deserve to know what it carries. Anyone drawn to nonbinary people can simply say so, in ordinary words, and skip a term most of its subjects would rather not be described by.
The problem is not the intention, it is the category
Defenders point out that the word was coined in good faith and that people should be able to name their attractions. That is true and it is not the objection. The objection is that the word bundles agender people, genderfluid people, demiboys, demigirls and gender non-conforming cis people into one target, on the basis that none of them is cis and binary.
The comparison people reach for is chaser, and it is close without being identical. Chaser describes a pattern of behaviour, a way of treating trans partners as a type rather than as people. Skoliosexual is a label someone applies to themselves. The discomfort is similar because both make being nonbinary the point of the attraction.
Saying it well
Say this
- I am attracted to nonbinary people.
- I have dated mostly nonbinary and genderqueer people.
- Gender is not really what draws me.
- I have seen the word. I would rather not use it about anyone.
Not this
- Calling a nonbinary person the reason you are skoliosexual
- Using it as an opening line
- I am skoliosexual, so you are exactly my type
- Telling a nonbinary person their objection to the word is an overreaction
Questions people actually ask
What does skoliosexual mean?
Attraction to nonbinary, genderqueer or gender non-conforming people. It was coined around 2010 and is contested.
Is skoliosexual offensive?
Many nonbinary people find it uncomfortable, for two reasons: it treats a very varied group as a single category of attraction, and its Greek root means bent or crooked.
Should I use the word?
About yourself, that is your call, and being aware of the objection is worth it. About someone else, better not: most nonbinary people would rather not be described that way.
What should I say instead?
Plain words work. I am attracted to nonbinary people says the same thing without the baggage, and nothing is lost.
Is skoliosexual the same as being a chaser?
Not the same, but the discomfort is related. Chaser describes treating trans people as a type rather than as people. Both make being trans or nonbinary the point of the attraction.