Home Glossary Gender apathetic

Gender apathetic

Having a gender or not, and genuinely not caring which.


Gender apathetic describes not caring about one's own gender. It is not an absence of gender, which is agender, and not uncertainty about it, which is questioning. It is indifference to the question.

People who use it typically say that pronouns, labels and presentation are all fine in any configuration, not out of politeness but because none of it registers as important.

It is a real answer rather than a refusal to answer. Someone gender apathetic has considered the question and concluded that it does not matter to them.

Gender apathy is not avoidance

Saying you do not care is read as declining to engage, particularly by people for whom gender matters a great deal.

Most gender apathetic people have thought about it at length and arrived at indifference, which is a conclusion rather than a shrug.

Saying it well

Say this

  • I am gender apathetic.
  • Any pronouns, and I mean it.
  • Gender apathetic: I have thought about it and I do not care.
  • Whatever you use is fine.

Not this

  • So you have not thought about it
  • You must care a bit
  • That is just agender
  • You are avoiding the question

Questions people actually ask

What does gender apathetic mean?

Not caring about one's own gender, as a settled position rather than uncertainty.

Is gender apathetic the same as agender?

No. Agender is having no gender; gender apathetic is not caring whether you have one.

Does it mean any pronouns are fine?

Usually, and generally sincerely rather than out of politeness.

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