Reciprosexual
Attraction that only appears once you know it is mutual.
Reciprosexual describes feeling no sexual attraction toward someone until you know they are attracted to you. The knowledge is what starts it, rather than intensifying something already present.
It is sometimes mistaken for flattery or low self-esteem. People who use it generally report that the attraction is genuine once it arrives, and simply does not exist beforehand.
The romantic counterpart is recipromantic. Both sit on their respective spectrums and both complicate the ordinary sequence of dating, where somebody is expected to feel something first.
Reciprosexual is not flattery
It is read as being pleased by attention rather than as attraction, which dismisses what people describe as a genuine and specific response.
It also is not indiscriminate. Knowing someone is interested starts the possibility; it does not guarantee the outcome.
Saying it well
Say this
- I am reciprosexual.
- It starts once I know it is mutual.
- Recipromantic, for the romantic version.
- Nothing beforehand, and something real afterwards.
Not this
- So you are just flattered
- That is low self-esteem
- So anyone who likes you will do
- That is not attraction
Questions people actually ask
What does reciprosexual mean?
Feeling sexual attraction only after learning that it is mutual.
Is it the same as being flattered?
No. The attraction that follows is described as genuine and specific.
What is recipromantic?
The same pattern in romantic attraction.