Kitchen table polyamory
A style of polyamory where everyone in the network is close enough to share a table.
Kitchen table polyamory, often shortened to KTP, is a style of [[polyamory|polyamory]] in which the people in a network know each other and get on well enough that they could all sit round the same kitchen table: partners, [[metamour|metamours]], sometimes their partners too.
The image is most of the definition. Nobody has to be romantically involved with everyone, but the [[polycule|polycule]] tends to function like an extended family, with birthdays and holidays spent together.
Its usual contrast is [[parallel-polyamory|parallel polyamory]], where partners prefer not to meet each other or know the details of each other's relationships. Neither is the correct version. They are preferences, and they suit different people.
The closeness can become a pressure of its own. Not everyone wants to be deeply involved with every member of a network, and kitchen table arrangements work best when each person's limits on involvement are said out loud and respected.
Who first used the phrase is not reliably documented.
Kitchen table does not mean everyone dates everyone
The closeness it describes is family-like, not romantic across the board. Two metamours at the same table may be good friends and nothing more.
It also does not make every relationship public property. Each relationship still belongs to the people in it; the difference is that the network is visible and friendly rather than kept apart.
Saying it well
Say this
- We are kitchen table poly.
- KTP: my metamour is coming to my birthday.
- Kitchen table, but I like some distance too.
- Parallel, not kitchen table, and that works for us.
Not this
- So you all date each other
- If you cannot be friends with your metamour you are doing it wrong
- So it is one big group relationship
- You have to come to every dinner
Questions people actually ask
What is kitchen table polyamory?
A style of polyamory where partners and metamours are close enough to spend time together, often like an extended family.
What is the difference between kitchen table and parallel polyamory?
In kitchen table polyamory the network spends time together. In parallel polyamory partners prefer not to meet or know the details of each other's relationships.
Do you have to be friends with your metamours?
No. Kitchen table is one preference among several, and even within it people set their own limits on involvement.
What does KTP stand for?
Kitchen table polyamory.