Open relationship
A relationship where the partners agree that sex or romance with other people is allowed.
An open relationship is one in which the partners agree that sexual or romantic involvement with other people is allowed. It usually describes a couple at the centre, with an agreed freedom outside it.
It is a form of [[ethical-non-monogamy|ethical non-monogamy]], and it is not quite the same as [[polyamory|polyamory]], though the two words are often swapped. Open usually centres on one couple and on what that couple has agreed; polyamory is about having more than one romantic relationship, each with its own standing.
The agreements are the substance, and they vary. Some open relationships allow sex but not dating, some allow both; some are open for both partners, some for one. A relationship where one partner is non-monogamous and the other is not is sometimes called a hybrid relationship.
The idea is not new. Open relationships have been widely recognised since the 1970s.
On a dating profile, open usually tells you there is a partner in the picture. It is fair to ask what the agreement is and where you would fit, and a good sign when the answers come easily.
Open is not the same as polyamorous
The words get used interchangeably, and the difference matters most when you are the new person. In an open relationship you are often dating someone whose main commitment is already settled. In polyamory, a new relationship may be meant to have standing of its own.
Neither is better. They are different offers, and it saves everyone time to know which one is on the table.
Saying it well
Say this
- We are in an open relationship.
- Open: my partner knows and is fine with it.
- Open for dating, not only for sex.
- Open, not poly, to be clear.
Not this
- So your relationship is failing
- So anything goes
- So you are just waiting to leave
- Open means you have no boundaries
Questions people actually ask
What is an open relationship?
A relationship where the partners agree that sexual or romantic involvement with other people is allowed.
Is an open relationship the same as polyamory?
Not quite. Open usually centres on one couple and its agreement; polyamory involves more than one romantic relationship, each with its own standing.
Is an open relationship cheating?
No. It is agreed by the partners. Cheating is non-monogamy without that agreement.
What is a hybrid relationship?
A relationship where one partner is non-monogamous and the other is monogamous.