Agender
Having no gender, rather than a gender that sits between others.
Agender means having no gender. Not a small amount of one, not an undecided one: the category itself does not apply, the way a colour question does not apply to a sound.
The a is the same a as in atheist or asexual. It marks absence rather than opposition. An agender person is not rejecting gender as a political position, though some also do that separately. They are reporting that when they look for the thing other people describe, there is nothing there.
It sits under the nonbinary umbrella, because a gender that does not exist is certainly not one of two. Some agender people also call themselves genderless, null gender, or gender neutral, and the shades between those words are personal rather than technical.
Being agender says nothing about how someone looks. Some pursue an androgynous appearance because it stops people making assumptions. Others keep the presentation they grew up with, because changing it would only be performing an absence that does not need performing. Both are equally agender.
It says nothing about transition either. Some agender people take hormones or have surgery, usually to reduce a body's insistence on announcing a category. Many do not. The absence of a gender does not come with a required appearance.
Pronouns vary widely. They/them is common, it/its is used by a minority who find it fitting and who are usually clear about it, and some agender people keep the pronouns they were raised with because fighting about them costs more than they are worth.
Agender is not neutral, and it is not confusion
The most frequent misreading places agender at the midpoint of a line between man and woman. That is gender neutral, which is a position on the scale. Agender is not on the scale. The question returns nothing rather than returning a middle value.
The second misreading treats it as a stage. People hear no gender and assume the person has not looked hard enough yet. For most agender people the looking is long finished, and being told to keep searching is being told that their answer does not count as one.
Saying it well
Say this
- I am agender.
- I do not have a gender.
- They/them, and no gendered nicknames please.
- Agender, which is under the nonbinary umbrella.
Not this
- So you are basically in the middle?
- You will find your gender eventually
- But you look like a woman
- Agender is just another word for nonbinary
Questions people actually ask
What does agender mean?
Having no gender at all. It is not a gender in the middle or a gender not yet found: the category simply does not apply to the person.
Is agender the same as nonbinary?
Agender falls under nonbinary, but they are not synonyms. Nonbinary covers everyone outside the binary, including people with genders that are complex or shifting. Agender is specifically the absence of one. The difference between agender and non-binary is explained in more detail here.
Do agender people transition?
Some do and some do not. Medical transition is usually about reducing how loudly a body announces a category rather than moving toward another one. Neither choice makes someone more or less agender.
What pronouns do agender people use?
Most often they/them, sometimes it/its where the person has chosen it, and sometimes the pronouns they grew up with. There is no rule, and asking is always safe.
Is agender a sexuality?
No. It describes gender, not attraction. Agender people can be gay, straight, bisexual, asexual or anything else, and the two questions are independent.