Xe/xem pronouns: how to say them and how to use them
Xe, xem, xyr, xyrs, xemself. Same shape as he/him, singular verbs, new sounds.
The forms
| Subject | xe |
|---|---|
| Object | xem |
| Possessive before a noun | xyr |
| Possessive on its own | xyrs |
| Reflexive | xemself |
In a sentence
- Xe is picking up the keys at six.
- I lent xem my umbrella.
- Is this xyr bike?
- The green scarf is xyrs.
- Xe made xemself a cup of tea.
The forms and how to say them
Xe is the subject, xem the object, xyr the determiner, xyrs the pronoun that stands alone, and xemself the reflexive. That is the set as given by the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee's LGBTQ+ Resource Center, Pronouns.page and the Gender Census.
The x is said as a z. Pronouns.page gives xe as "zee", xem as "zem" and xyr as "zeer". Verbs are singular, as with he: xe is, xe was, xe has.
Spellings drift. A pronoun guide from Binghamton University shows xe, xer, xem in a sample email signature, so you may meet xer for the possessive. The person's own spelling is the one to use.
How common it is
In the 2025 Gender Census, 8.8% of respondents picked xe/xem, the highest of the neopronouns on the survey's list. Its author puts it at about one in eleven and notes that the figure moves from year to year. The respondents are self-selected online and mostly young, so this is a snapshot, not a count.
Where it comes from
Pronouns.page, a volunteer-run pronoun reference, credits the set to Don Rickter in a Unitarian Universalist publication in 1973. We have not seen that original, so treat it as the attribution most often given rather than settled history. For the longer story of coined pronouns in English, see neopronouns.
Learning it
Because xe/xem works exactly like he/him, the work is getting the sounds into your mouth, not learning grammar. Reading a handful of sentences aloud does most of it, and the practice page fills them in for you.
If you slip, say xe and keep going. The glossary entry on misgendering explains why that is enough.
Questions people ask
How do you pronounce xe/xem?
Xe sounds like zee, xem like zem, and xyr like zeer. If someone says theirs differently, follow them.
Is it xe is or xe are?
Xe is. Xe/xem takes singular verbs, like he and she.
What is the difference between xe/xem and ze/zir?
They are separate sets. Xe/xem uses xem and xyr; ze/zir uses zir for both. Use the one the person gave you.
Is xe/xem a real pronoun?
People use it for themselves, which is what makes a pronoun real. The usual attribution dates it to 1973.