He/him pronouns: forms, examples and how to use them
He, him, his, himself. The most familiar set in English, and it tells you how to refer to someone, not who they are.
The forms
| Subject | he |
|---|---|
| Object | him |
| Possessive before a noun | his |
| Possessive on its own | his |
| Reflexive | himself |
In a sentence
- He is running late, so start without him.
- I borrowed his charger this morning.
- The grey coat on the chair is his.
- He taught himself to cook last winter.
- Ask him about the trip. He was there.
The forms
He is the subject (he called), him is the object (I called him), his does two jobs as determiner and standalone pronoun (his phone, the phone is his), and himself is the reflexive. Verbs are singular: he is, he was, he has.
Most people write he/him in an introduction, because those two forms are enough to work out the rest.
Who uses he/him
Trans men, many transmasc people, some non-binary people and cis men. The pronoun does not tell you which, and it is not meant to. University LGBTQ centres make the same point in their guidance: knowing someone's pronouns tells you how to refer to them, not what their identity is.
Some people use he together with another set, most often they. That has its own page: he/they.
When he/him is new
If someone has recently started using he, the people who knew him before have the most unlearning to do, and slips are part of that. It is also the situation where getting it right counts most, because each correct he is a small sign that the change has been heard.
Asking, and fixing a slip
You cannot tell from looking. If you are not sure, offer yours and ask: "I use she/her. What about you?"
If you say she when you meant he, say he and finish the sentence. Anything longer leaves him managing your embarrassment. The glossary entry on misgendering explains why the short fix is the kind one.
Questions people ask
What are he/him pronouns?
The set he, him, his, himself, used for one person with singular verbs: he is, he was, he has.
Can non-binary people use he/him?
Yes. Some non-binary people use he, on its own or alongside they or another set. Pronouns describe how to refer to someone, not their gender.
Is it rude to ask whether someone uses he/him?
No, if you ask the way you would ask anyone. Offering your own pronouns first makes it an exchange rather than a test.
What should I do if I use the wrong pronoun for him?
Correct it in the same breath and carry on: sorry, he. Then keep using he.