She/her pronouns: forms, examples and how to use them
She, her, hers, herself. Familiar forms, with one quirk: her does two jobs.
The forms
| Subject | she |
|---|---|
| Object | her |
| Possessive before a noun | her |
| Possessive on its own | hers |
| Reflexive | herself |
In a sentence
- She is picking up the keys at six.
- I lent her my umbrella.
- Her train gets in at nine.
- The red bike outside is hers.
- She fixed the shelf herself.
The forms
She is the subject, her is both the object (I saw her) and the determiner (her bag), hers stands alone (the bag is hers), and herself is the reflexive. Verbs are singular: she is, she was, she has.
Because her covers two slots, she/her describes the whole set, which is why that is the usual way to write it.
Who uses she/her
Trans women, many transfem people, some non-binary people and cis women. As with any set, the pronoun tells you how to refer to someone and nothing more.
Some people use she alongside they or another set. See she/they.
They is not a safe swap
It can be tempting to switch to they for a woman you think might be trans, just to be careful. If she has told you she uses she, that caution misses: they is not her pronoun, and using it anyway can land as its own kind of misgendering. Once you know, use what you were told.
Asking, and fixing a slip
If you do not know, ask the ordinary way, with yours first. If you call her he, say she and keep going. Being called he by someone who knows better is not a small thing, and a quick, plain correction is the one that shows you know it. More on that in misgendering.
Questions people ask
What are she/her pronouns?
The set she, her, hers, herself, used for one person with singular verbs: she is, she was, she has.
Is it okay to use they for someone who uses she/her?
Not as a way of hedging. If you know someone uses she, use she. They is for people who use it, or for the moment before you know.
Can a non-binary person use she/her?
Yes. Some non-binary people use she, alone or alongside another set. The pronoun does not tell you someone's gender.
What do I do if I call her he by mistake?
Say she and finish your sentence. Skip the long apology; just keep getting it right.