Any pronouns: what it means and how to use it well
More than one set is fine. That is an invitation, not a reason to stop paying attention.
The forms
| Subject | he / she / they / other sets |
|---|---|
| Object | him / her / them / ... |
| Possessive before a noun | his / her / their / ... |
| Possessive on its own | his / hers / theirs / ... |
| Reflexive | himself / herself / themself / ... |
In a sentence
- Ari is on the way. He said to start without him.
- Ari is on the way. She said to start without her.
- Ari is on the way. They said to start without them.
- Ari said xe would bring the cake, so leave xem some space on the table.
What it means
Someone who says any pronouns is telling you they are fine being referred to with more than one set, as long as it is clear who you mean. Pronouns.page, a site where people share pronoun cards, offers several versions of it: any pronouns at all, any of the familiar sets, or any neopronouns.
It sits at the end of a range many people are already on. In the 2025 Gender Census, the average respondent picked 2.2 sets they were happy with.
Any does not always mean all
Some people mean it literally. Some mean the common sets and not neopronouns, or everything except one particular set. If you will be talking about someone often, it is fine to ask once: "Any pronouns, including it or xe, or the usual ones?"
Using it well
The lazy version of any pronouns is picking whichever set matches how the person looks to you. That brings back the assumption the person was trying to get away from. Some people who use any pronouns like hearing a mix; some have a set they like more. The only way to know is to ask.
Within one sentence or one story, sticking to a single set helps people follow. Across days and conversations, variety is fine.
Pronouns are not the only gendered words
Someone happy with any pronoun may still not want sir or madam. The Gender Census asks about formal address separately, and in 2025, 66.9% of respondents preferred no title at all in place of sir or madam.
If you slip
With any pronouns, a slip is rarer, but using a set someone has ruled out still counts. Fix it and move on: misgendering explains how.
Questions people ask
What does any pronouns mean?
That the person is fine being referred to with more than one set, as long as it is clear who you mean. Some mean every set; some mean the common ones.
Can I just use the pronoun that matches how someone looks?
You can use any set they have allowed, but choosing by appearance brings the assumption back. A mix, or asking which they like, is better.
Does any pronouns include it/its and neopronouns?
Sometimes. Some people mean every set, others mean the familiar ones. Ask once if you are unsure.
Is any pronouns the same as not caring about pronouns?
No. It is a specific answer: more than one set is right. People who use it still notice when they are referred to in a way they did not agree to.