How to choose a new name, and how to try it out

Most people never choose their own name. Many trans and non-binary people do, sometimes more than once, and it can feel like a lot of weight to put on one word. It helps to know that trying names out and changing them is ordinary. As TransHub, ACON's Australian resource for trans and gender diverse people, puts it, changing and experimenting with names is not only common, it is normal. You also do not need to change anything legally to start using a name.

A name has no gender except the one you give it

Say this plainly before anything else: a name has no gender except the one its bearer gives it. The lists at the bottom of this page are grouped by how names are conventionally used, because that is a useful place to start looking. Conventional is all it means.

The conventions move anyway. Evelyn was more common for boys when it first appeared as a given name in the 17th century and is now regarded as almost entirely feminine. Leslie became more common as a feminine name in America after the 1940s. Andrea is a masculine name in Italian and a feminine one in English, German and Spanish. If you want a name that the world currently files under another gender, or under none, it is still your name.

For names that do not lean either way, non-binary names has a longer list, with the names actually given to both sexes in six countries.

Where to look

The year you were born. TransHub suggests looking at lists of names that were popular around the time you were born. It is one way to find a name that sits comfortably alongside the names of people your age.

Your family and your history. A grandparent's name, a family surname, a name from a language your family speaks, or the name you would have been given. Some people like the continuity of keeping the same first letter or a form of their birth name. Others want nothing that connects to their [[deadname|deadname]], which is just as reasonable.

Meaning. Name dictionaries give the origin of most names. It can be a good way to choose between two you already like. Treat it as history rather than a description: many names have more than one proposed origin, and plenty have none that anyone can document.

People, places and stories. TransHub mentions friends, family, heroes in fiction and non-fiction, and plain imagination. A character who meant something to you, a writer, a place where you were happy. There is no wrong source.

The practical checks

• Say it with your surname. Out loud, several times, the way someone would call it across a room or read it off a list. Notice the rhythm, and whether the last sound of one runs into the first sound of the other.
• Look at the initials. First, middle and last. Check what they spell, and what the name looks like as an email address or a signature.
• Spelling and pronunciation. How often will you have to spell it? How is it said in the languages you live in, and in the country you might move to?
• Short forms. Work out what people will shorten it to, because they will, and decide whether you like that version too.
• A middle name. It is a good home for a second favourite, a family name, or a name you are not ready to use every day.

Try it where the stakes are low

You do not have to get it right first time. TransHub suggests writing possible names down in a list or across a page and seeing how they feel to write and look at. Some will drop out straight away. Others might jump out later. And if none of them gives you a strong feeling, that does not mean you want a name any less than someone who knew immediately.

Then test it on strangers. Give it for a coffee order, a restaurant booking, a delivery, a new account in a game or an app. Nobody there knows you, so nothing is at stake, and you get to hear the name said to you by someone who has no reason to hesitate.

Then test it on people you trust. TransHub's suggestion is to ask close friends to use the name you are considering, online or in private, to see how it feels. Pay attention to your reaction when someone uses it without warning. That moment tells you more than any amount of thinking about it.

It is fine to trial more than one. Give each a few weeks with a small group before deciding.

Telling people

Start with the people most likely to get it right, and let them help. TransHub notes that having someone with you who can correct other people can reduce some of the stress, and gives you someone to talk it through with afterwards.

Keep it short. "I'm going by Sam now" is a complete sentence. You do not owe anyone an account of why you chose it, what it means, or what your name was before.

Expect slips from people who have known you for years, and decide in advance how you want to handle them. A quick correction and moving on usually works best. Repeated or deliberate use of your old name is a different thing, and the entries on [[deadname|deadnaming]] and [[misgender|misgendering]] cover what that is and why it lands the way it does.

If a name change is part of coming out more widely, how to come out as trans goes through the wider conversation.

Changing your mind

A name is not permanent, even after a legal change. TransHub says it directly: if you decide a new name is not for you, you can stop using it and use an old one or a different one instead. Plenty of people pick a first name, live with it for a while, and settle on another. That is not a failed attempt. It is the process working.

People change names for all sorts of reasons, marriage being the one everyone knows. The people around you have managed that before, and they can manage this.

The legal side

Changing a name on official documents works differently in every country, and often in every state or region within a country. This page is not legal advice, and the rules change, so check with the official source where you live.

A few examples of where to look. In the UK, GOV.UK explains changing a name by deed poll, with different rules for people born in Scotland. In the US, a legal name change usually means a petition to a local court, and USAGov notes the process varies between states; Advocates for Trans Equality keeps an ID Documents Center with state-by-state information. In Australia, TransHub points to the Births, Deaths and Marriages registry of each state or territory. Elsewhere, start with your national government's website or your local civil registry, and look for an LGBTQ legal service or trans organisation that knows how the process works in practice.

Names to start from

The groups below follow convention, not permission. Each entry gives an origin and meaning from Behind the Name and links to its page; where the source gives no meaning, the field is left empty. Take a name from any group.

Names for transfeminine inspiration

Names Behind the Name lists as feminine, from many languages. That is a convention, not a rule, and any of them can belong to anyone.

• Ada: English, Italian, Spanish, German and others. Short form of Germanic names such as Adelaide. Meaning: noble (the element adal).
• Aurora: Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, English and others. The Roman goddess of the morning. Meaning: dawn.
• Beatrice: Italian, English, Swedish, Romanian. Italian form of Beatrix. Meaning: probably voyager, traveller (Viatrix, via Beatrix).
• Clara: German, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French and others. Feminine form of Clarus. Meaning: clear, bright, famous.
• Daphne: English, Dutch. From Greek mythology. Meaning: laurel.
• Delphine: French. Form of Delphina. Meaning: of Delphi (Delphina).
• Elena: Italian, Spanish, Romanian and many others. Form of Helen. Meaning: probably torch, or possibly related to moon (Helen).
• Eloise: English. From Old French Héloïse, probably from the Germanic Helewidis. Meaning: healthy, whole, and wide.
• Freya: English, German. From the Norse goddess. Meaning: lady.
• Greta: German, Italian, Swedish, Lithuanian, Polish, English. Short form of Margareta. Meaning: pearl (Margaret).
• Ingrid: Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Estonian, German, Dutch. From Old Norse Ingríðr. Meaning: Ing is beautiful.
• Iris: English, German, Dutch, French, Spanish and others. The Greek goddess of the rainbow. Meaning: rainbow.
• Ivy: English. From the word for the climbing plant. Meaning: ivy.
• Juliette: French. Diminutive of Julie, from Julia. Meaning: possibly downy-bearded (Julius).
• Leila: Persian, Arabic, Kurdish, English, French, Georgian. Variant of Layla. Meaning: night (Layla).
• Luna: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, English, Dutch. The Roman goddess of the moon. Meaning: the moon.
• Margot: French, German. Short form of Marguerite, a form of Margaret and the French word for daisy. Meaning: pearl (Margaret).
• Maya: Hindi, Marathi, Nepali, from Sanskrit; also a Hebrew name, and an English variant of Maia. Meaning: illusion, magic (Sanskrit); water (Hebrew).
• Mei: Chinese; also a Japanese name written with different characters. Meaning: beautiful, or Chinese plum (Chinese).
• Mira: Hindi, Marathi, Malayalam, Tamil, Kannada; also a South Slavic and Polish short form. Meaning: sea, ocean (Sanskrit).
• Nadia: French, Italian, Spanish, Polish, English, Russian and others. Variant of Nadya, a diminutive of Nadezhda; also an Arabic name. Meaning: hope (Nadezhda); announcement, call (Arabic Nadiyya).
• Naomi: English, Hebrew, Dutch. From the Old Testament. Meaning: my pleasantness.
• Nina: Russian, Italian, English, German, French and others. Short form of names ending in nina.
• Olive: English, French. From the word for the tree, from Latin oliva. Meaning: olive.
• Paloma: Spanish. Meaning: dove, pigeon.
• Priya: Hindi, Marathi, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Bengali. From Sanskrit. Meaning: beloved.
• Rosa: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Catalan, German and others. Generally from Latin rosa. Meaning: rose.
• Ruth: English, German, Dutch, Spanish and others. From the Old Testament. Meaning: probably female friend.
• Sakura: Japanese. Meaning: cherry blossom.
• Selene: From Greek mythology, a goddess of the moon. Meaning: moon.
• Stella: English, Italian, Dutch, German. Created by the 16th-century poet Philip Sidney. Meaning: star.
• Talia: Hebrew. Meaning: dew from God.
• Thea: German, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, English. Short form of Dorothea, Theodora and others. Meaning: gift of god (Dorothea).
• Valentina: Italian, Russian, German and many others. Feminine form of Valentinus. Meaning: strong, vigorous, healthy (Valentine).
• Vera: Russian, English, German, Italian, Spanish and others. Meaning: faith (Russian); also associated with Latin verus, true.
• Violet: English. From the word for the flower, from Latin viola. Meaning: violet.
• Ximena: Spanish. Feminine form of Ximeno; the name of the wife of El Cid.
• Yara: Arabic; also a Tupi variant of Iara. Meaning: friend, helper (from Persian yār); lady of the water (Tupi Iara).
• Zara: English. Used by William Congreve in 1697, possibly based on the Arabic name Zahra. Meaning: possibly shining, brilliant, bright, if from Zahra.
• Zoe: English, Italian, Spanish, German, Czech. From Greek. Meaning: life.

Names for transmasculine inspiration

Names Behind the Name lists as masculine, from many languages. The same goes for these: convention, not a rule.

• Adrian: English, Romanian, Polish, German and others. Form of Hadrianus. Meaning: from Hadria, a Roman settlement (Hadrian).
• Ambrose: English. From Late Latin Ambrosius, from Greek. Meaning: immortal.
• Anton: German, Russian, Scandinavian, Dutch and others. Form of Antonius, which is of unknown Etruscan origin.
• Arjun: Hindi, Marathi, Kannada, Telugu, Tamil and others. Modern form of Arjuna, a hero of the Mahabharata. Meaning: white, clear (Arjuna).
• Arthur: English, French, German, Dutch and others. The name of the legendary king.
• Callum: Scottish, English. Variant of Calum, the Scottish Gaelic form of Columba. Meaning: dove (Columba).
• Cyrus: English, biblical. From the Old Persian name Kuruš. Meaning: possibly young, or humiliator (of the enemy).
• Darius: English, Lithuanian, Romanian, biblical. From Old Persian. Meaning: possessing goodness.
• Declan: Irish, English. Anglicized form of Deaglán, of unknown meaning, likely beginning with dag, good.
• Diego: Spanish, Italian. Possibly a shortened form of Santiago.
• Dorian: English, French, Romanian, Polish. First used by Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891).
• Elias: Portuguese, German, Scandinavian, English, Dutch, Greek and others. Form of Elijah. Meaning: my God is Yahweh (Elijah).
• Emil: Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, German, Czech, Polish and others. From the Roman family name Aemilius. Meaning: rival (Latin aemulus).
• Ezra: English, Hebrew, biblical. Meaning: help.
• Felix: German, Dutch, Scandinavian, English and others. From a Roman cognomen. Meaning: lucky, successful.
• Finn: Irish, English, Dutch, German. Form of Fionn; also a separate Old Norse name. Meaning: white, blessed (Fionn); Sámi, person from Finland (Old Norse Finnr).
• Gideon: Hebrew, English, Dutch, biblical. Meaning: feller, hewer.
• Hugo: Spanish, Portuguese, English, Dutch, German, French and others. Old German form of Hugh. Meaning: mind, thought, spirit (Hugh).
• Isaac: English, Spanish, Portuguese, Catalan, French, Jewish, biblical. Meaning: he will laugh, he will rejoice.
• Jasper: English, Dutch. From Latin Gaspar, traditionally one of the Magi. Meaning: perhaps treasurer.
• Jonah: English, biblical. Meaning: dove.
• Julian: English, Polish, German. From the Roman name Iulianus, from Julius. Meaning: possibly downy-bearded (Julius).
• Kenji: Japanese. Meaning: healthy, strong, or study, combined with two.
• Kofi: Akan. Meaning: born on Friday.
• Leo: German, Dutch, Scandinavian, English and others. From Latin. Meaning: lion.
• Mateo: Spanish, Croatian. Form of Matthew. Meaning: gift of Yahweh (Mattithiah, the source of Matthew).
• Milo: English. Old German form of Miles, revived in the 19th century.
• Nikolai: Russian, Bulgarian. Form of Nicholas. Meaning: victory of the people (Nicholas).
• Omar: Arabic, Bosnian, Kazakh, Malay, English, Spanish, Italian and others. Transcription of Umar. Meaning: flourishing, living long (Umar).
• Oscar: English, Irish, Brazilian Portuguese, Italian, Scandinavian and others. Meaning: possibly deer friend.
• Otto: German, Scandinavian, Dutch, English, Finnish. Later form of Audo. Meaning: wealth, fortune (the element aud or ot).
• Rafael: Spanish, Portuguese, German and others. Form of Raphael. Meaning: God heals (Raphael).
• Rhys: Welsh, English. Meaning: probably ardour, enthusiasm.
• Rohan: Hindi, Marathi, Bengali, Kannada. From Sanskrit. Meaning: ascension.
• Silas: English, Greek, Danish, German, biblical. Probably a short form of Silvanus. Meaning: of the woods (Silvanus).
• Tariq: Arabic, Urdu. The Arabic name of the morning star. Meaning: visitor, knocker at the door.
• Theo: English, German, Dutch, Scandinavian. Short form of Theodore, Theobald and others. Meaning: gift of god (Theodore).
• Tobias: German, Scandinavian, English, biblical. Greek form of Tobiah. Meaning: Yahweh is good (Tobiah).
• Wesley: English, Brazilian Portuguese. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: west meadow.

Names for non-binary inspiration

Names Behind the Name lists as both masculine and feminine, from English surnames to Hebrew, Turkish, Yoruba and Japanese. Non-binary names has well over a hundred more, plus the names actually given to both sexes in six countries.

• Adair: English. From a surname derived from Edgar. Meaning: wealth, fortune, and spear (Edgar).
• Auden: English. From a surname derived from Old English Ealdwine or Old Norse Hálfdan. Meaning: old friend, if from Ealdwine.
• Bellamy: English. From a surname from Old French bel ami. Meaning: beautiful friend.
• Bowie: English, Dutch. From a Scottish surname. Meaning: yellow (Gaelic buidhe).
• Darcy: English. From a surname for someone who came from Arcy in France.
• Hadley: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: heather field.
• Harlow: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: rock, heap of stones, or army, combined with hill.
• Hartley: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: hart, male deer, and woodland, clearing.
• Kingsley: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: king's wood.
• Lennon: English. From an Irish surname derived from the byname Leannán. Meaning: lover.
• Lennox: English. From a Scottish surname taken from a district, Leamhnachd in Gaelic. Meaning: possibly place of elms.
• Merritt: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: boundary gate.
• Monroe: English. From a Scottish surname. Meaning: from the mouth of the Roe, a river in Northern Ireland.
• Palmer: English. From a surname, ultimately from Latin palma, palm tree. Meaning: pilgrim.
• Presley: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: priest clearing.
• Quincy: English. From a surname derived, via the place name Cuinchy, from Quintus. Meaning: fifth (Quintus).
• Ridley: English. From a surname taken from place names. Meaning: reed clearing, or stripped clearing.
• Romilly: British English. From a surname taken from Norman town names.
• Sinclair: English. From a Scottish surname derived from the Norman French town of Saint Clair.
• Tennyson: English. From a surname. Meaning: son of Tenney, a medieval form of Denis.
• Wallis: English. From a surname, a variant of Wallace. Meaning: foreigner, Celt, Welshman (Wallace).
• Waverly: English. From a surname taken from a place in Surrey. Meaning: possibly flickering, wavering, and woodland, clearing.
• Winslow: English. From a surname taken from a place name. Meaning: hill belonging to Wine.
• Haru: Japanese. Meaning: light, sun; spring; or clear weather, depending on the kanji.
• Kei: Japanese. Meaning: intelligent, gemstone, or celebration, depending on the kanji.
• Nao: Japanese. Meaning: straight, direct, in one spelling.
• Chihiro: Japanese. Meaning: thousand, and fathom.
• Hinata: Japanese. Meaning: sunny place, or toward the sun.
• Nitzan: Hebrew. Meaning: flower bud.
• Yarden: Hebrew form of Jordan. Meaning: descend, flow down (the Hebrew root of Jordan).
• Rotem: Hebrew. From the name of a desert plant. Meaning: a desert plant; the word is possibly related to Hebrew ratam, to harness, to bind.
• Stav: Hebrew. Meaning: autumn.
• Ziv: Hebrew. Meaning: bright, radiant.
• Toprak: Turkish. Meaning: soil, land, country.
• Doğa: Turkish. Meaning: nature.
• Özgür: Turkish. Meaning: free.
• Ife: Yoruba. Meaning: love.
• Adedayo: Yoruba. Meaning: the crown becomes joy.
• Uzoma: Igbo. Meaning: good way.
• Andile: Zulu, Xhosa, Ndebele. Meaning: they have increased.
• Lwandle: Zulu, Xhosa. Meaning: ocean.
• Keala: Hawaiian. Meaning: the path.
• Kalei: Hawaiian. Meaning: the flowers, or the child.
• Bahati: Swahili, ultimately from Persian. Meaning: luck, good fortune.
• Jyoti: Hindi, Marathi, Bengali, Assamese, Nepali. From Sanskrit. Meaning: light.
• Safa: Persian, Turkish, Arabic. Meaning: pure, or serenity, clarity (Safaa).
• Khánh: Vietnamese. Meaning: congratulate, celebrate.
• Linh: Vietnamese. Meaning: spirit, soul.
• Celyn: Welsh. It appears in the tale Culhwch and Olwen, but was not typically used as a given name until the 20th century. Meaning: holly.
• Afon: Welsh, of recent origin. Meaning: river.
• Senna: Dutch. Meaning uncertain; sometimes given in honour of the racing driver Ayrton Senna, or for the senna plant.