Home Answers What should I put on my dating profile?

What should I put on my dating profile?

Specific beats safe. The profiles that work are the ones only you could have written.


The mistake almost everyone makes is treating a profile as a disclosure form. It is not. It is an invitation, and the question it has to answer is what a conversation with you would be like.

Lead with something only you could have written

Not "I love travel, food and laughing." Everyone loves those. Write the specific version: the restaurant you go back to, the thing you were reading at 1am, the argument you will happily have at a party. Specific things give people something to reply to, which is the entire mechanism by which conversations start.

Three concrete details beat a paragraph of adjectives every time.

Your gender field is context, not content

Put your gender and your pronouns where the app lets you, write them the way you would say them out loud, and then move on. If the app only offers a dropdown, pick the nearest thing and say the real version in your own words in the text.

How much of your history you show is a separate decision, and it is entirely yours. Some people want it visible so the conversation is over before it starts. Others want none of it public. Both are normal, neither is dishonest, and an app that makes this a single all-or-nothing switch is badly designed.

Photos: fewer, better, and yours

Four to six is plenty. At least one where your whole face is visible, at least one full-length, at least one doing something you actually do. Avoid the group photo as your first image — nobody should have to work out which person you are.

If you are not out everywhere, remember that images travel. A photo taken in an identifiable place, or one you have posted elsewhere, can be reverse-searched. Use pictures that do not exist anywhere else if that matters to you.

Say what you want, plainly

One line about what you are looking for saves everybody time: something serious, something casual, friends first, t4t only. People who want something different will move on, which is the point.

If you want to meet other trans people specifically, say that outright. It is not rude and it is not exclusionary — it is the same information as anyone else stating a preference, and it filters out the conversations you did not want to have.

What to leave off

Lists of what you do not want, especially long angry ones. They are understandable and they read as exhausting. One calm boundary is stronger than five bitter ones.

Your workplace, your neighbourhood, your surname, and anything about your body that you would not want quoted back at you by a stranger.

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